Finding True Love?July 30, 2014
“How will I find my ‘true love’ ?
How in the world did I know??? I vowed NEVER to get married because of the negativity I saw growing up with separated parents… I envisioned myself growing old having a girlfriend, separate after a couple of years, finding a new, attractive girl to make me happy. So on so forth.
When I met Maricar in 2009, She was my “crush”. But learning the hard way, physical attraction alone(although extremely strong) will not make relationships endure for the long run.
So I distanced from her for a year(2009-2010) because I was unsure of myself—“Will this be another short-term fling?” During that gap, I watched successful men date her. It was not an easy period for a very impatient boy like me.
Finally, we got back to talking in Oct 2010. Every conversation was still as interesting as a year before. And another 2 and a half years of honest and truthful friendship passed, my high “Cloud-9” emotions began to “normalize” for me to think clearly and assess the ‘reality’ of a “lifetime commitment” to a simple girl who like me, had her own share of flaws and burdens.
I realized there was no one else more beautiful and supportive to me than Maricar. MY CRUSH BECAME MY BEST FRIEND. With all her good and bad, I decided to commit to her and love her for the rest of my days.
For a guy, I guess one good question would be: “Who do I find physically attractive AND is the most supportive of me especially in my lowest times?”
True love? It’s easier to say what it’s NOT. True love doesn’t mean you will never fight. True love doesn’t mean you will never be offended, or cause offense to the other person. True love doesn’t mean you will never find anything annoying about the other person. True love doesn’t mean the “kilig” phase lasts forever. True love is NOT a fairytale ending.
True love IS hard WORK.
Richard is very upfront with me. If he sees something in me worth correcting, he would tell me honestly. No watering down, no sugar coating.
I remember a fight we had when we were new in our relationship. I started to secretly question the abilities and attitudes of a certain co-worker. I told Richard this and he wondered why I did not deal with the issue even though my negativity was increasing.
He said my problem would never be solved if I did not RESPECTFULLY talk to my co-worker. The truth was, I HATED confrontation and was afraid this co-worker would get angry and retaliate by spreading negative rumors about me.
Stubborn, I refused to confront and the tension at work grew. Richard had to confront ME on my refusing to face my problem head on. We FOUGHT. It was terrible. But HE DID NOT GIVE UP until I was strong enough to face my fear and talk to my co-worker directly.
It turned out, my co-worker didn’t get mad! We no longer work together, but we are still friends with mutual respect for each other. Richard helped me through my irrational fear. No one in the WORLD has fought me so passionately for my own good.
True love is not afraid to tell you the ugly truth. True love also WORKS hand-in-hand with you, helping you excel. True love can also be funny and cute.
Find someone like that. 🙂