Leave and Cleave 4: Does it DESTROY family relationships?February 26, 2017
I’ll never forget the day in 2010 when Ice came to my door with his big, black guitar. “Richard, can I leave this with you in return for borrowing P10,000 to find a place for me and Kat?”
My friend Ice spent ALL HIS LIFE-SAVINGS(that time) on fixing their(he and his fiance Kat’s) big rooms in his MOTHER-IN-LAWS’ HOUSE.
I told him to “leave and cleave”.
He asked, “But what about my life-savings?”
Ice(husband): In 2010, I married Kat and was the happiest guy in the world! During our wedding preparations, Kat offered their home for us to live in after the wedding.
Both of us AGREED it was ECONOMICAL for us since I got laid off from work and it wasn’t easy to look for a new job. I had outstanding debts.
We spent around 180k -200k renovating Kat’s room. It was practical – no monthly rent, minimal utility bills.
Kat(wife): We were comfortable living with mom. Every morning, we would just go down and breakfast was there. When we got home, dinner was waiting on the table. Laundry was free.
Ice: But one day Richard reminded me about “Leaving and Cleaving”, how leadership at home should start with me—-to stand up as a man to lead my family.
I was in denial! I was thinking “Are you kidding me? We are about to finish the P200K renovation then you say to “leave and cleave”?
However, after much struggle in prayer, it was clear: to leave, cleave, and to TRUST GOD WHERE HE WOULD LEAD ME and my family. I immediately told Kat and she supported my decision.
Kat: “Therefore a man shall LEAVE his father and his mother and hold fast (CLEAVE) to his wife, and they shall become one…”
These words were DISTURBING US on our 6th month of marriage, while we were still living with my mom.
I was shaking when we went to my mom’s room to tell her our decision. I was worried and frightened to leave my mom (who was then sick). I wanted to be there everyday to take care of her. But I had to KEEP TRUE to my WEDDING VOW when I said yes to my husband to CLEAVE(stick) to him.
But God tremendously blessed us the moment we decided to go. Ice immediately got hired a few days after we MOVED OUT of my mom’s house into a small apartment! In less than a year, my hubby was PROMOTED and HIS SALARY WAS INCREASED TWICE(2x)!
Ice: Contrary to what we expected, Kat became even closer to her mom since we left!
Kat: God also restored her health and her blood sugar is now normal. God removed the worries in my heart!
Ice: Good things came ONE AFTER THE OTHER when we stepped out of our comfort zone to be independent as a married couple (which we did not really understand at first).
Kat: I encourage every couple (married & soon-to-be-married) to take a leap of faith, leave their parents’ house and cleave to their better half.. to live in a separate house. I believe you will be amazed on how God will work if you take that leap of faith.
RICHARD: What an inspiring TRUE STORY of faith. Leaving and cleaving does NOT destroy our relationships with our parents.
It can bring us closer. Our parents gain INCREASING RESPECT towards us for the hard work we do to NOT RELY ON THEIR GIVING.
It was such a joy to see Ice come back to my house, payback the P10K, and get his black guitar back.
I can’t wait for Ice and Kat’s story to inspire many, many more couples in very hard situations to do what they know is right but difficult to do: Leave and Cleave:)