Liking Someone Who Does Not Like You Back

November 10, 2017

MARICAR:

Years before I met my husband, I liked a certain guy for 3 years. Three. Years. And he did not like me back.

He liked someone else, and I knew who she was. In my jealousy, I wanted to believe that she was a mean person and I was better than her. But looking back, my “rival” was actually beautiful, talented and very friendly! And as much as I denied it, she got along better with my crush than I did. They had really long and meaningful conversations.

I couldn’t understand it. Matino naman akong kausap, I also had things in common with my crush, and I wasn’t exactly ugly! Why didn’t he like me the way I liked him??? It drove me crazy trying to figure out the answer to my question!

I thought maybe there was something wrong with me. So I tried to change into someone he would want for a girlfriend. In my delusion, I slowly turned myself into someone I wasn’t just so I could please him.

Thinking that way destroyed my self-esteem for three years and I had no one to blame but myself.

I had to deal with the blow to my pride that the guy I really liked, did not feel the same way. And this did not make him a bad person.

He was my friend, and he treated me like a friend. I was the one putting extra meaning into his friendly actions. If he really liked me the way I wanted to be liked, then he would ask me to be his girlfriend. But he didn’t do that.

It’s hard to move on because everytime your crush says your name, you want to melt into their arms (I know the feeling) —BUT BE STRONG!! Remember that there is someone out there created to like you for who you are. It’s just not the right time to get together yet.

While waiting for your special someone, find your unique God-given gifts/talents and maximize them! Find your purpose in this world! Help others! Become the best version of yourself! And before you know it, the love of your life will come at the most unexpected but perfect time.

(Read: How Do I Know if He/She Is THE ONE?)

And (speaking from experience) on your wedding day, you will thank God that He did not allow you to end up with that crush who doesn’t like you now. And it won’t be a feeling of vengeance na parang “Hah! Ang tanga-tanga mo, look at who got away! Tingnan mo yung babaeng di mo pinansin noon! Magsisi ka! Bwhahahahha!”

No. Not like that.

I believe it truly will be a moment of sincere thankfulness to God because he created someone else who is a better match for you, just as He made someone else to be a better match for your crush right now.

So if you’re single (whether you’re 14 years old, 18, 26, or 45, etc.) and you like someone who doesn’t like you in the same way… don’t be like me and take 3 years to get over it!!! Decide to move on now, don’t be bitter, and enjoy the process of becoming the best you for your future life partner!

(Read: “I want my next boyfriend to be my last…”)

 

Posted by relationshipmatters, November 10, 2017

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