—The curious case of Sandy Rindy (Names are fictitious, of course 😀 )
My friend, Sandy Rindy is married, like me.
Unlike me, her husband Andy has a “9AM to 5PM” job. He leaves their small apartment at 6am to go to his Makati office, and returns often around 10pm. Andy was just given another department to manage, so he CHOOSES TO STAY long after the required 8 hours of work.
He also is part of an amateur cycling team that trains 4-5x a week. That means even MORE hours AWAY FROM HIS WIFE. On a regular day, they ONLY have 7 hours to spend with each other, including sleeping!—-A FAMILY SET-UP I would NOT be happy with.
But curiously, when you ask Sandy to talk about Andy, her eyes would glow like a newlywed’s, even after three years of marriage. There is no doubt in her mind that her husband makes her FEEL that she is the apple of his eye.
But I deeply object, “But they barely see each other!!! HOW can Sandy be so happy with Andy!?!?!? HOW can she not ask her husband to decrease his work hours, or his training for the cycling team? How can she tolerate it?
I would not have understood, had I not learned that SANDY’S LOVE LANGUAGE was the language of GIFTS.(The 5 love languages are TIME, WORDS, SERVICE, TOUCH, and GIFTS)
Most times, when Andy comes home, he BRINGS SOMETHING for his wife:
Cute peppermint candies, fresh pan de sal… usually something the couple can munch on while they chitchat for a bit before going to sleep. These little gifts mean the world to Sandy. A symbol that he thinks about her despite his busy day. They are expressions of love that she could hold in her hands.
Sandy drove the point home when she told me:
“When we were still dating, I told Andy in passing that my family never really had a permanent home. I always dreamed of having my own house…” Sandy said in her usual chirpy voice. Then to my utter shock she suddenly started to cry.
She was genuinely touched. “That’s why he works so hard. He took my dream seriously! He wants to GIVE ME MY OWN HOUSE(GIFT)…” She says supporting him in everything he does is the least she could do for all the love SHE FELT from her husband.
Andy was investing in the ultimate GIFT for his wife: her own dream house. He KNEW her love language and was speaking it, big time. Andy was expressing his love through GIFTS, the top love language of his wife Sandy, this makes her feel LOVED THE MOST. While I(Maricar) can’t seem to feel much because I am not a “GIFTS” person.
There are many ways to express love, but do YOU feel it THE MOST with a gift? If yes, then your love language might be GIFTS. If not, maybe it is one of the other four.
Maybe your 2-year old loves to hand you small flowers as presents… His/Her love language might be GIFTS!
Do you have any friends that seem to give or appreciate gifts more than the others?
, December 12, 2014