I’ve Stopped Wishing For A Perfect RelationshipFebruary 18, 2017
I’ve stopped wishing for a perfect relationship. In the 1st month of our marriage, Richard and I had a fight so bad that we had to call in two of our mentors to referee us and help solve our conflict!
And throughout our 3-year marriage we’ve had some pretty disturbing fights since then. Some fights even got me packing my suitcase to escape to my parent’s house! (I just packed, but never left, haha!)
But thankfully, we are still “sweet” until today. Among other things, I think it’s because — bilib na bilib ako sa kanya, and baliw na baliw sya sa akin. (I admire him so much, and he is crazy about me.)
I cannot tell you enough about how much I admire who Richard is and the direction he wants to take our family. Even though we fight, when I look above my feelings, he always has something wise and practical to teach me.
I love that he is so much better than me in the areas I want to improve on (attention to detail, long term planning, creativity, problem solving, etc.). And I know I will get better just by being with him.
I believe my deep admiration for who he is keeps my “spark” for him alive, in spite of our many fights. And to my surprise, he says my admiration for him, helps Richard love me even more.
On the other hand, I’m thankful that Richard is quite crazy about me.
I am not known to be an exciting person, but for some reason he finds me amusing. Sometimes I would do something silly that would make him laugh. And I love the look in his eyes when he says, “I’m so fond of you…”
The best test of his fondness — he got to know me during a very difficult time, when I was working through some very bad mistakes. A lot of people around him advised against pursuing me, and to be honest, he really wondered if they were right.
But after thinking, praying, and consulting mentors he knew that he was crazy enough about me to want to be with me for the rest of his life —negatives and all.
I see now how important it is for a woman to not only love her man, but to DEEPLY ADMIRE him as well.
Our marriage still has to be tested by decades together, raising children, facing challenges, etc. And I only hope we can keep our “spark” going through all of the trials that are set before us. Seeing that our married mentors have done it, we have a lot of hope we can pull through.
Nope, I don’t have a fight-free, perfect marriage. But so far, thankfully, what we have is a relationship that works. Kasi nga, bilib na bilib ako sa kanya, at baliw na baliw siya sa akin