When A Father is Hard to Honor

June 7, 2014

When my dad and mom split up, I didn’t see my dad for 15 years. They broke up before my first birthday.

Fast forward to age 23, I was sitting in a small group Bible study. The leader, Steve, had a simple point: “The Bible says ‘honor your father and your mother, period.’”

“God tells us to honor our fathers NOT because they’re honorable or perfect.

Neither does He say to honor our fathers IF they are right.

God wants us to honor them, period.”

In obedience to God, I went for it. I asked prayer from my friends and then I called my dad to set up a lunch appointment.

The first time I met him was when I was 16, I would see him twice or three times a year but that would always be in a group context. This time, it was just me and him for the 1st time.

Since he was a broadcaster, he filled in the first hour of our conversation with the current headlines. After an hour, I cut him short and told him: “Papa, the reason I wanted to meet with you is that I wanted to tell you that I honor you as my father. I know things with you and Mama didn’t work out, but I want you to know there is forgiveness in my heart for you.”

By this time, my eyes were sweaty.

“I’d like to rebuild my relationship with you and make up for lost time.”

He was silent. Not an awkward silence but a ‘brick-wall-has-been-broken-down’ silence.

Someone said that “unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.” I didn’t want that. Something had to be done.

I decided that day to forgive my dad inspite of how I felt.

With the help of God, years went by and God began to restore our relationship.

There was a turning.

Malachi 4:6 says, “He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers…”

That was what He did.

God is a God of restoration.

He did it for me and He can do it for you today. Continue to ask His help for you to forgive and be restored 😀



Posted by kevin, June 7, 2014


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